i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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