She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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