Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
