i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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