She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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