so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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