i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I need moral support for this bender
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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