Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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