I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
