New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
