i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
