Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
