i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
