he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
