If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
