I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
