somebody snuck up and got me drunk
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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