So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
