You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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