I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
