Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
