Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
