people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
