direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
