my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
