"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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