Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
