Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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