I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
