Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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