I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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