So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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