OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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