he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
