I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
