Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
