Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
