dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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