She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
