you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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