I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
