I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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