Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
