The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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