Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
