So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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