How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
