Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
