I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you would pick up someone in the library
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
