tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
