That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
