Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
