you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
