I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
