Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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